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50 Facts About Me

Published November 20, 2013 by ABadKitten

Image

(Photo credit: Myself)

Sometimes writer’s block is hard to get over. Since finding 50 facts about myself is so incredibly difficult, this is always a sure-fire way for me to knock down that wall. Aaaand…GO!

  1. My nickname “Kat” comes from my middle name, Katherine.
  2. I’m a store manager at a GameStop.
  3. Here’s the main things that terrify me: Clowns, cows, any bug missing a leg or some other part of their body, the ocean, anything that lives in the deep of the ocean.
  4. My irrational fear of cows comes from back in my childhood, when I was feeding a horse sugar cubes. I looked away and looked back to see a cow taking it from my hand which then promptly bit my finger and moo’d loudly in my face. The horse had bolted, which had me thinking this was a cow from hell…where they all probably come from.
  5. I’m a vegetarian (not because I’m afraid of Satan’s cows) and have been for 10 years this Thanksgiving.
  6. My reasons for being Vegetarian aren’t necessarily related to Thanksgiving. That’s just when I decided, at age 15, that eating a dead bird that’s stuffed with herbs and soggy bread isn’t for me. Nor is eating any other dead animal, for that matter.
  7. I’m also a passive-aggressive vegetarian, meaning I don’t care what you choose to eat– this is my choice, not yours. The only time I get out-spoken about my choice to go without meat is when people try to “trick me” into eating meat or get nasty to me about my personal choice, unprovoked.
  8. I haven’t believed in God since the third grade when my grandmother died from breast cancer.
  9. I’m completely, 100% obsessed with scented candles.
  10. Come 11/22, I’ll have a total of 5 game consoles. WiiU, 3DSXL, Xbox360, Xbox One, and PS4. I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM. (Yes I do.)
  11. Like a typical American, I drink way too much coffee.
  12. I’m most happy in an over-sized sweatshirt and underwear, hair flying wild and free.
  13. Anything with lace is something I need in my wardrobe. I’m obsessed with and fascinated by lace.
  14. If I could find a wizard who could cast a spell transporting me to Middle Earth as an elf of Mirkwood…I would sacrifice Lambchop to do so.
  15. Fantasy is a genre I’ve been in love with since as far back as I can remember.
  16. Oh, yeah I’m a huge nerdy dork–and I love that about myself.
  17. Fall and Spring are my favorite seasons. (Real original.)
  18. I have constant conversations with myself. In a non-psychotic way.
  19. If I could lay on a hill all day every day and get paid to look at the sky, night and day, I could die happy. I love the sky.
  20. Alice and Wonderland is my favorite Disney movie…
  21. …but Belle from Beauty and the Beast is my favorite Disney princess.
  22. I’m 96% Italian…
  23. …but you wouldn’t be able to tell that from looking at my pale skin. Being vegetarian took away my year-round tan. A small price to pay for my choices. :]
  24. As of right now, my favorite song is My Demons by Starset.
  25. I used to be a huge fan of WWE, but since getting promoted I haven’t had the time to watch as much so I’ve fallen out of the loop. I’m sad.
  26. I still love CM Punk, Randy Orton, the Undertaker, Kane, everyone in the Shield, and the Big Show. That won’t change.
  27. I’ve also pretty much been in love with AJ since she entered WWE.
  28. I’ve only had two serious relationships in my 24 years. One that wasted 7 years of my life, but brought me to my current (recently) 2 year relationship.
  29. For the past two Halloweens I’ve dressed as a pirate captain.
  30. Christmas is my favorite holiday. Halloween comes in at a close second.
  31. I’m a charity/donation fiend. Anything I can do for charity I will gladly do.
  32. On that note, I’ve been told repeatedly that I’m too kind for my own good. That’s wrung true more often than not, unfortunately.
  33. I’m so soft-hearted that I can’t even kill a nat without feeling heartbroken. It’s a problem.
  34. I used to write three times a day on Xanga.com , a blog on which I had a giant plethora of readers…and then stopped for almost a year. When I finally went back, it almost got shut down and turned into an expensive pay-to-write-here website. Hello WordPress.com!
  35. In high school, every outfit I wore was mainly black.
  36. I’m in love with nature and the outdoors.
  37. Too bad I’m so sensitive to the cold. Otherwise I would be outside every chance I get during the cold months.
  38. During Hurricane Sandy, my entire area was without power for 2 1/2 weeks. Since we had no heat, water,Β  or electricity and it was winter, I stayed with my boyfriend for the duration of it.
  39. I’ve always wanted to work with animals. I would love to be a vet, a vet tech, a trainer…what ever.
  40. I give amazing advice that I, myself, never seem to follow.
  41. I’m horrified by the wicked witch in the Wizard of Oz.
  42. When I was younger I used to: dance (ballet, tap and jazz), play soccer, play tennis, run track, play piano, sing, and kickbox. I do none of that now and I miss it all terribly.
  43. My apartment does not allow pets which is, basically, a death sentence for me. (I didn’t really have any other choice but to move here at the time…)
  44. Even now I can’t have a bed that has any type of open space under it. You never know what could be under there…
  45. I used to draw a lot in middle school and high school but have since stopped and lost all of my skill.
  46. Writing also used to be a part of my daily routine and I wrote some amazing things. I’ve lost that, yet again, but I’m trying to mend that part.
  47. I love interior design. If I had the money to do all that I’ve imagined in my head, I could have an awesome career.
  48. My collection of LOtR things used to include a life-sized standee of Legolas, all of the magazines from the fan club, book marks, trading cards, notebooks, folders, pencils, empty candy boxes, books of quotes and fanfiction, and drawings (though I’m probably leaving some out!). Now, it’s down to the collector’s edition movie sets, my writing (because I will never get rid of that) and one bookmark of Legolas because I still think it’s to sexy to toss.
  49. I’ve had a total of 5 cars. A dynasty, a ’99 mercury cougar, a ’96 mercury cougar, a nissan sentra and my current hyundai accent which is my first brand new car that I bought and pay for all on my own. Yes, I’m quite proud.
  50. My favorite color is purple. What a lame note to end on.

So there. That wasn’t as painfully hard as it usually is. Doing silly things like this is always a good way for me to break down the walls of writer’s block. Plus, I love having to dig deep inside myself and pull out random things that I normally wouldn’t think twice about.

Maybe I’ll actually be able to write something legit now.

Damn you, Fear.

Published November 14, 2013 by ABadKitten

I don’t remember where I heard the phrase “Fear is a myth that we make alive with our belief” but I always wanted to believe that. I never did, but I wanted to. At least it would make certain aspects of life just a little bit easier if I did.

As defined on Wikipedia, “Fear is an emotion induced by a perceived threat which causes entities to quickly pull far away from it and usually hide. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain or the threat of danger. In short, fear is the ability to recognize danger leading to an urge to confront it or flee from it (also known as the fight or flight response) but in extreme cases of fear (horror and terror) a freeze or paralysis response is possible.” Too bad there is not always a specific reason for a person to feel fear. Sometimes, there doesn’t seem to be any reason at all.

Two nights ago, I got barely any sleep. I kept waking up every half hour or so absolutely and utterly terrified. Of what? I have no idea. After being jolted awake, I just laid there for a little thinking about what was terrifying me and why. When I could come up with no answer, I relaxed and went back to sleep. This went on for the remainder of the night.

Last night, I kept dosing off on the couch before I actually went to bed. I was jolted awake by the sounds of knocking and scratching– both which weren’t really happening. It kept happening each time I dozed off until I had had enough, turned off my tv and went to bed where I slept soundly all night.

Now, waking up this morning I’m nervous…but this time I actually have a reason. The PS4 is launching today and I, being the store manager, have all of the stress of “Will it go smoothly?” and “What if, god forbid, the police doesn’t show up as they say and we get robbed?” and all those thoughts of worst-case-scenarios. I’m going to have the same fears next week when the Xbox One releases. It’s normal. It’s holiday season and this is my first year as a store manager so it’s a tad stressful.

The point to my ramblings is that my fear this morning has a basis and something real to fear. My fears the past few days have been based on feelings that have no reason to exist and sounds I’m only hearing in my subconscious that don’t really exist either. Fear makes life complicated. It kept me from sleeping the other night and kept me from relaxing last night. It’s keeping me from walking into work with my head held high today because I’m absolutely terrified something might happen.

The positive side is at least I’m aware of worst-case-scenarios and acknowledge they exist beyond the bounds of my imagination. They could happen, though it doesn’t mean they actually will. Being jolted awake by terror that you can’t explain doesn’t really have a positive side. The only thing I can think to relate it to is stress and anxiety.

Damn, fear. It makes life so difficult.