Dear Santa,

Published December 23, 2010 by ABadKitten

For the moment, you exist. Why? Because you need to bring me a new computer since mine finally died of old age. You should also bring me a new cell phone, considering that also died of old age. After all, tis the season to be broke after shoving out an incredibly unnecessary amount of cash that one really doesn’t have on presents for other people. So, help a girl out, ‘kay? ;3 Only being able to hop on the computer while I’m at my boyfriend’s house sucks slightly.

I suppose you should also exist for the moment to spread happiness and joy and all that Ho-Ho-Ho crap to the children of the world. Why not work those elves who now exist for my personal purposes at the moment a little harder, for little pay, and send them on overdrive. Sad little kids need toys made in Santa’s sweatshop! 

I sound like a Scrooge. I’ll make sure to remember to leave you extra milk and cookies for you. I’ll probably end up eating them, but it’s the thought that counts, right?


Then you can go back to being a figment of the 10-and-below imagination. Happy Holidays, Fat Man. By the way, I love you on the Coke bottles.



(Happy Holidays everyone! Eat lots, drink eggnog till you vomit, and be safe!)



3 comments on “Dear Santa,

  • This kind of feels like my sentiments when it comes to elves and being happy at christmas…  I work day before and after and am down right grumpy most of the time because of over work.  I call myself an elf but I’m more like a grimlin lol

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