I don’t like them. I never have and I doubt I ever will.
I’ve kept my share of secrets that my friends have confided in me (unless they were physically harmful somehow, of course…), but it doesn’t mean I enjoyed doing so. Not that every secret involving how big of a crush she has on him is a terrible deal, but I’d rather not have to keep things like I’m having sex with her boyfriend when this “her” happens to be one of my close friends as well. I don’t need to go through the drama of You’re a shitty friend for not telling me! or You’re a shitty friend for telling her!, so for the sake of Amber’s sanity, drive a nail through my left foot instead.
I’m also not a big fan of secrets in relationships either. On one hand, certain things may be better left unsaid where, on the other hand, some things really need to be brought out in the open. Either way, I don’t care. Personally, I despise the thought of having to keep something from my boyfriend with no intent on telling him. It makes me feel completely dishonest and untrustworthy. Girls are such hard-asses when it comes to the whole “communication, communication!” thing, right? As a matter of fact, yes, I am god damn it. I enjoy feeling like I can go to him for anything and talk to him about anything. I also enjoy it when he feels like he can come to me for anything and talk to me about anything. That’s my personal feeling, so I really don’t care if you agree with me or not.
Knowing for a fact that things are being kept from you is a really shitty feeling. It diminishes the trust between you and that person, no matter what your reason for keeping the secret is. I’d rather not be suspicious and I’d rather not have doubt, but past experiences make those two things (and a few others) leap upon me like a starved, rabid pack of wolves! As much as I love wolves, I would rather not experience being torn apart and devoured while screaming bloody murder until one finally decides to end me.
I do think that some things are better kept secret, but I also think that trust is precious. I don’t enjoy keeping things from those I love and I especially don’t enjoy knowing they’re keeping things from me.
When is it okay to keep a secret from a friend/SO, in your opinion?