If it was ever easy, that’s a time I can’t recall. There must have been a time so simple, though distant now, when all the world was a lullaby rather than a funeral procession. Was there? Perhaps I will never again know.
For so long I’ve been dancing amongst the shadows in wonder of when they will finally take me. It’s like Russian Roulette, sick and twisted in a way so gratifying the adrenaline pumps like electricity through my being. In my gut I know once it happens, all will turn to dark. In my heart, though, remains a small sliver of hope that one day everything will change. I control my destiny, right?
He came like lightening, snapping my body into two. There was no time to scream. I suppose the time was there as I lay in the prickly, dew-laden grass. I made no effort to cry out, though. There really was no point. All I could do was stare ahead, watching them as they came. Something was crushing me, but I paid it no mind.
This park, the place of my demise. I was comforted by the coolness the faint wind brought to my body among the warm liquid that covered me. This was once a place of joy for me, that I do remember. Not too long ago, I watched as a young couple shared with each other a vanilla-flavored kiss, the girl shrieking with laughter when she dropped her ice cream cone onto his foot. A father had taught his little boy to ride his first bike–with no training wheels!–laughing all the while.
Rolled onto my back by an unknown force, I catch a glimpse of the moon. It’s full, round as I’ve ever seen it, yet as red as the liquid coming in streams from inside of me. The stars that served to make my lonely nights all the less lonely no longer danced in the blackened sky. I had just seen them, but perhaps they had fled as I wished I could.
“The night is still young. Don’t waste her now!” I hear one say as he knocks another one away from me. I hadn’t even noticed the weight of his body on top of mine, or the fact that I was now surrounded on all sides. I’m numb now, a comforting thought. I had felt pain a few moments ago, but now there is nothing but calm floating through my mind. But laughter disturbs peace as easily as a smile disturbs sadness. My numbness, my feeling of peace is broken and I’m suddenly violently aware of everything. Everything. The shock has left my system. My reality is crushing me faster than they can tear my flesh.
You cannot escape your destiny, you cannot run from your purpose. If you can change it, I guess I’ll never know. From the moment his ebony eyes had found me, I knew exactly what mine was. Sometimes I wonder what it’s like to be on the other side of the murder, to feel what they must be feeling as they end someone else so quickly, devoid of remorse and feeling. Why is it so easy?
It doesn’t matter now, the darkness is here to take me. Such is the fate of a strawberry. I stood no chance against these rabbits.
30 Day Journal Challenge
Day 2: What is the best part of your day?
(It says: The best part of my day…is waking up to you.)
Artistic ability is something that I lost since my early high school years. I’m a tad rusty, I know. In my opinion, the drawing I did of myself makes me look Asian! I’m not Asian! Not that you can see all that clearly…stupid camera.
Explaining the meaning of this seems pointless, considering I’m pretty sure it speaks for itself!
My boyfriend an I have been together for 5 years. High school sweethearts. Yup!