Inspired by BohemianLotus’ entry, I found the idea to be a very interesting one. It’s all about sharing something that you would normally be afraid to share with other people, or maybe even sharing something that you’re afraid to admit to yourself. I’m unmasking Pandiie_Bear and allowing you a brief peek into my true identity. Also, to make this feel less raw for me, I’m alternating between hard-to-share facts and fun-to-share facts.
(Edit: I also changed and combined a few because I felt like I didn’t have enough personal facts.)
If you really knew me, you would know:
How insecure I am. I can’t tell whether or not I lay them out for people to see (I don’t believe I do) or if I let on that I’m an insecure person in general. It’s one of the many things about me that I try to cover up as much as possible, for fear that I would be judged. I constantly compare myself (mind and body) to other people. It doesn’t matter who they are. It could be the girl walking down the hall next to me with the beautiful face and flowing hair or the guy standing in a crowd of his friends, laughing and enjoying himself. Ever comparison I make stems from a different branch of my large insecurity tree. I also don’t think I’m that smart, personally. I know I’m not stupid, I just don’t think I’ve very smart. I’m aware that it’s just my own harsh self-judgment of myself so it’s most likely not true, but that also doesn’t make much of a difference when it comes to my opinion. Stupid opinion. (It is a comfort to know I’m not the only one, though. )
How obsessed I am with strawberries. Oh dear, sweet delicious little fruit, how I adore thee. Honestly, I have never turned away a single piece of fruit. I love fruit, all fruit, every fruit! I have the fortune not to be allergic to fruit, so I take complete advantage of that. Strawberries, though…they are in serious danger when Amber comes around. I would gladly sell my soul for a jumbo, juicy, sweet, god-like strawberry.
How afraid I am of confrontation. I’m not all to positive that “afraid” is the best word to use, but I’m letting it stay for lack of a better one. I absolutely hate the thought of confrontation! If I had the choice between arguing about religion and politics or discussing the variety of colors My Little Pony comes in…well, I have to admit I don’t much care for My Little Pony anymore, but at least there would be no baring of the teeth and scratching of the claws. Civilized and adult conversation about a touchy subject, I’m all for it. When it starts turning into a screaming fest and I have to feel that adrenaline, I’d rather not.
How much I love the rain. I’ve always been that freakish girl dancing in the rain, splashing in the puddles. When the sky opens up, an over-all feeling of joy radiates from me. I could never understand why rain depressed people when it made me so incredibly happy. It’s relaxing! (Unless there is thunder or lightening involved…because then I hide under the blankets or cower in my boyfriend’s arms like a wuss.)
How badly I want everyone to accept me. Internet, family, friends, people I meet only once and never speak to again. It sucks! As much as I deny it, I care (quite a bit, actually…) what other people think of me. I try so hard not to, but to no avail. The care is always there. I can only hope that I’ll get over this one day.
How incomplete my life would be without writing. Writing has become such a huge part of my life that I don’t even know how I were survive without it. Poetry is something I usually keep private. I think the reason I don’t share it most of the time is because I honestly don’t think it’s very good, but I couldn’t possibly not write it. Writing stories or rants or things I’ve seen on the news– it doesn’t really matter. Writing in general helps to calm, de-stress, and cheer me up. (As a matter of fact, reading the raw writing of others does a similar thing. Oh, writing )
How afraid I am to “grow up”. I think this stems from my fear of change, which is something I have difficulty explaining. Generally, change doesn’t bother me. It actually excites me sometimes! It’s the huge “your life is never going to be the same” sort of changes that tend to frighten me. I hardly think I’m childish as I never really have been. I’ve always been very mature for my age (not taking into account when I’m messing around with friends). This is not an uncommon fear but I’m having a hell of a time explaining it.
There! One little fact for every (basic) color of the rainbow. ROY G. BIV truly is a great guy.
Now, it’s your turn.