All Men Cheat

Published August 4, 2010 by ABadKitten

(Image Source)

 

(Edit: Since I originally wrote this at 4:00 am, I did a bit of…cleaning up! )

 

(In a nutshell)

Men are not mentally monogamous. They have the urge to spread their seed across the land while women have the instinct to, basically, incubate.

I was watching the Larry King show early this morning, and the topic being discussed blew me away. There were three women (excluding the host) arguing about different point of views concerning infidelity in a relationship. There was an author who wrote a book which encourages women to let their husbands cheat, an ex-mistress who was 100% positive that every man will cheat, and Bethanny from the Real Housewives of New York and Bethanny Getting Married? arguing they’re both out of their minds.

Woman number one (the author of Sugar Babe) says the key to a successful, healthy relationship is to “negotiate fidelity”– meaning, the woman should allow her man to cheat. She says it’s a very “educated and natural thing to do” and that the only reason we feel marriage is sacred is because of old-fashioned rules we are used to.                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Woman number two (the former mistress) says if you have to negotiate in ways like that, your relationship is not healthy and you should probably get out of it. (She also runs a website that helps women (mistresses) get out of their unhealthy relationships with married men.) She says she is 100% positive that all men cheat, that it’s a fact that is unavoidable. She says that men prey on women because of their physiological needs to spread those seeds and because of their intense sexual urges that are stronger than that of women.

Then we have Bethanny (Oh…how I love that woman) arguing on the side of “Not all men cheat” and “You’re both bat shit crazy”. She asks what is the point of marriage, the binding of two partners, if negotiations need to go down in allow the man to taste the sugar of what ever woman he pleases? She argues with the ex-mistress by saying not all men cheat and that not all men “prey on women”. Women cheat as well, women have sexual urges that are just as wild, and there are women who “prey” on men. As for the author, Bethany argues that successful relationships are not based on infidelity negotiations in which the woman allows the man to cheat. They are based on love, care, hard work, and understanding (among other things).

Personally, I’m on Team Bethanny here. I think saying something such as “all men cheat” is absolutely absurd (not to mention incredibly insulting to every man who respects women and would never do that to the one they love!). I feel that, in giving my boyfriend permission to sleep with however many woman he wanted when ever he wanted would do more harm to our relationship than good. I don’t see the point of being in a relationship if the two people are not dedicated to each other. Plus, I’m not willing to put my body’s health at risk so he can let the snake out of the cage when ever he pleases.

Marriage and relationships are full of negotiations–fact.  Relationships take work, sometimes hard work, to keep intact–fact. Some men (and women, hello!) will not be faithful to their partners–fact. However, I don’t believe giving your man permission to cheat on you is going to do much of anything for your serious relationship. I also don’t believe for one moment that every single man on this planet is incapable of being faithful. Everyone has urges, but it doesn’t mean everyone will act upon them.

“Hello sweetie. How was work?”

“Hey baby. Oh, work was great. I boned Becky after lunch and then Melissa gave me head while I was driving home. I just dropped her off at her house.”

“Oh, that’s nice honey! Now that you’ve taken care of your uncontrollable sexual urges for the day, I feel it’s safe to say our relationship is stronger than ever! By the way, how is Melissa doing? I haven’t spoken to her ages.”

Really? No thank you.

 

Who do you agree with? Do you believe that every man will cheat?

 

 

 

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44 comments on “All Men Cheat

  • I believe that tendency is there, indeed. And for some (many?) it can be difficult to control. Believe it or not, I once had a gf that allowed me the option of having sex with another woman. It’s a long and complicated story. I didn’t even try to convince her of this. In fact, when I noticed she liked me, I told her flat out that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, because I wanted to explore a bit. It was her who insisted that we could be steady and that, if the chance came up, I could sleep with another chick. Funny thing, it did happen – and she met her! They both knew what was going on, there were no secrets. It’s almost unreal in retrospect, but that’s the way it happened. Yikes.

  • I would say the main reason men cheat is because they’re not getting enough from their female partner and are unwilling to control their urges. It seems like it defeats the purpose for a woman to tell a man to go out and get some. That’s opening a can of worms for sure, and besides, if a woman tells a man he has permission to cheat, he’s going to think she’s already cheated on him.VERY BAD IDEA.

  • Well sure, naturally we’d all cheat. We’d all randomly screw people if not taught to do otherwise. But we have brains, logic, and we can rationalize. And damn, I feel sorry for the first two bitches. They got screwed over, ha ha! 

  • i’m with you and bethany. sure there are men out there that cheat. for example, my two ex’s and my dad. blah. but despite being screwed over i still know that not all men have to cheat… just like not all women are faithful. i know quite a few guys that are respectful and dedicated to their women… just like i know a bunch of women who sleep with any and every guy that comes along, despite the fact they’re in a committed relationship and maybe even married! that whole discussion is pretty ridiculous in my opinion. in the end it all comes down to the individual’s morals and their respect and dedication to their significant other. not every man (or woman) is a cheater. the end. 

  • not every man cheats. Some are able to be a little more mature and put themselves wholeheartedly into a relationship with their wife. My father and mother have been married 21 yrs. and they have never cheated. Now, alot of men cheat, every one I have kissed, cheated. But that doesn’t draw the line on all men. There are some great ones out there.

  • I agree with Beth, BUTAs the generations go on young men are learning from what they see and hear on tv/music, is that women are ho’s, or to sleep with as many women as possible. I feel our current generation probably around 70-75% of men cheat(not proving just my own guess). And because young males are learning that its ok to have many partners, and its cool to sleep with many women(not put as nicely as I say it) soon it will be more than 95% maybe even 100%. Another reason for this is more and more young women are learning it’s not ok to respect yourself. As show on tv/magazines/internet, women are nothing but sex objects and should be used and thrown to the side for the next skinny-sluttier woman that comes along. Young women are starving themselves, worrying about what the opposite sex see them as. Like young girls ages 13-15 are looking for guys 21-39 for sex so they are making themselves look older, and sluttier, so those men will pick them up and have sex with them. but not all are that extreme, some are just aiming to look sexier and to get more attention. It’s a sad place to be now a days. Does anyone remember when Manors were the key, and so was the image of a good sold relationship, those were the golden days.

  • I’m with team Bethany too. Woman number two totally contradicts herself by first saying you should probably get out of a relationship if you have to negotiate infidelity then calls it “unavoidable” that all men cheat creating the conclusion that women should probably stay out of relationships with men entirely which in turn made me wonder if she is a lesbian (not that there’s anything wrong with that) but then I read:“…and because of their intense sexual urges that are stronger than that of women.Woman number two has obviously never had sex with another woman. 

  • @Unstoppable_Inner_Strength – I’ve heard about a few relationships that my friends have had which had been similar to this. Those were, as you said, not serious relationships. @lifeisamusing – I highly, HIGHLY doubt that every single man is incapable of self control.@socialdemocracyforall – I agree.@NadoAngel – Of course. Not everyone is perfect, but not everyone is devoid of respect or morals. :]@freebirdheart – There absolutely are. Just as there are some really crappy women out there. It goes the same for both ways, for both sexes.@Rob_of_the_Sky – I was thinking something along those lines, haha. She said she had been cheated on numerous times, but she didn’t seem affected by that whatsoever. @cryingdevil999 – The media affects society in a number of ways, I agree. Not every man or woman, though, feels it’s appropriate to act like Snookie or Chris Brown. I think it depends on a number of things..like, for example, self-respect and the respect of others. There’s also a lot of weight in an individual’s personality and how they view all these things that you mentioned. I could easily point out a large number of women who respect their body and don’t dress trashy for attention as well as a large number of women who do. I could also easily point out a large number of men who respect women and don’t put looks over personality just as easily as I could point out a large number of men that do. And yes, I have to correct you. It’s *manners. Tehe~@Royal_Ranger – I basically watched the entire thing with my mouth wide open, jaw limp. It was insane. Bethanny looked struck as well, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. O:@TheSutraDude – I think both women have some serious issues of their own. Deep, personal scars. That was made pretty obvious when the ex-mistress jumped down Bethanny’s throat when she said “there ARE women who prey on men just as there are men who prey on women”. Incredible.

  • I’m siding with Beth here, only because I agree. Both of them are just “bat-shit” crazy XD But yeah, not all guys will cheat. It all depends on who your guy is and how he is. My friends boyfriend is a well known cheater because he’s just that kind of guy, but my boyfriend barely even looks at other girls because of a personal experience. It really depends. A lot of factors could lead men to cheat. A lot of factors prevent men from cheating. So… Yeah. Team Beth πŸ™‚

  • Personally. If I knew I was in the position where I was going to wind up cheating on someone, I’d simply not date. I’d get the freedom out of my system, then go back to getting in a relationship. That’s why some men aren’t relationship types.

  • I’m the crazy one here. Maybe I’m biased because so far all my “men” have cheated in one way or another but I believe no man is truly monogamous. They all want to sleep with other women. Whether or not they do is up to their will power and how hard to can keep them leashed. Besides that, I don’t trust any males.

  • Nah.  It’s just not true.  Some men are shy, some men are getting all they want at home and don’t need anymore variety, my ex would not go without his wedding right because women were always bothering him when he didn’t have it on.

  • @MangoWOW – I agree with the idea that men aren’t naturally monogamous. I think that idea is a more recent thing that developed when society evolved into a more civilized way of life. I’ve known plenty of men/women that have cheated, are cheating, and probably will continue to do so most of their lives. However, I also know men/women who have never cheated. Whether or not they stay that course is up to them, but I don’t think it’s physically impossible for either sex to stay faithful.@Axis_of_Doom – Hallelujah! @Diva_Jyoti – Men…or actually people in general…who don’t wear their wedding rings make me wonder. I would be extremely upset if my future husband didn’t wear his

  • @Pandiie_Bear – Yup, my ex used to lose his ring windsurfing…it happened three or four times and each time he would go out and replace it with a thicker one before the day was out.  He was a pilot and if he didn’t wear it…you know, chicks all over him, he is a handsome guy.  He’s also a very upright, commitment oriented guy, faithful by his very nature.  We split after 16 years, the reasons were complicated.

  • Intresting post, but I don’t think its true, I’ve never cheated and not once have I thought of it, when I’m with someone, I’m with them. maybe my brains broken and so I don’t have the cheaters mentallity.

  • The only uncontrollable urges I can’t think that we have and MUST satisfy is the urge to eat and to urinate. Having sex is part of human nature but it is not crucial. I think men and women should be on the same page physically, knowing each other’s preferences and such, so the urge to cheat isn’t as “overwhelming” as some men claim it to be. My opinion. Thanks for posting this.

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