A smidgen long and not the best I’ve written, but I hope it will do.
If you’re a Xanga Falls newbie, catch up on your episodes here.
If you’re been following along and need a refresher, here is the previous episode.
“Y…you’re…!” Nani (Queen_of_You188) stuttered, mouth agape, “Amb-“ I quickly silenced her, shoving another handful of sunflower seeds into her mouth. Jerking her head away, she gagged and spit them out all over the floor. “WILL YOU STOP THAT?” she screamed.
“Keep your voice down!” I whispered sharply, “No one can know! And how is it you can speak anyway? These things are covered in salt…” I glared down at the sopping wet remains of the sunflower seeds in disgust. Salt…something I had never tasted on our home planet. After sampling something called a potato chip, I vowed never to allow that vile, crystalline devil to assault my taste buds again.
“No…really? I hadn’t noticed. Can I have some damn water? My tongue feels like it’s about to fall off! And where am I?!” Nani barked at me, obviously not caring to keep her voice hushed.
“Shhhh!” I urged, “You really have to keep it down! They think I’m interrogating you!”
“Who thinks you’re interrogating me? What in the name of the Almighty Double-Stuffed is going on? Explain yourself!”
I sighed, leading Nani over to the old cot sitting in the corner of her cell. Despite the rust-covered bars holding it up, it looked freshly made with clean white pillow cases and a pleasant-smelling comforter. It’s not like I hadn’t tried to make it look half-way decent for my Queen…just not too decent. I didn’t want to draw any suspicion. I simply told TheoDan that a smelly, damp old cell was no place for a lady with such delicate breasts and he whole-heartedly agreed. How could he argue with that logic?
Releasing Nani’s arm, I sat and motioned for her to do the same. She just narrowed her eyes and stepped backwards until her back hit the cell wall opposite of me. Crossing her arms, she slide down to the floor stubbornly.
“You don’t trust me. I should have expected as much,” I lowered my eyes to my feet.
“You locked me in a cell,” she said quietly.
“At least I washed your sheets for you, Queen,” I smiled hopefully, picking up a pillow and sniffing it over-dramatically, “Ahhh, lavender!” She growled at me.
“Okay, okay…” I gently placed the pillow back at the head of the cot, “…but please understand I didn’t have a choice. This was the only way I knew I could get to the two of you without attracting the attention of…” I paused,”…other people ,” I finished lamely.
“Anyway…” I cleared my throat, “It all started during the riot…”
“Who started this?!” demanded the Oreo Queen.
“It was him!” came the voice of Betterdesigned. She, I-Create and Stephened had their fingers pointed directly at a frightened looking man standing just outside of the crowd.
“Roadlesstaken?” the Oreo Queen gasped. It couldn’t be…”Is this true?” He said nothing, frozen in horror.
“No!” I screamed, pushing through the crowd. As servant to the true Oreo Queen (Queen_of_You188), I had been sent into town to sell her latest artwork when I heard the poor woman’s cries. “It’s not tru-“
“We saw the whole thing, my Queen,” Betterdesigned purred, making her way slowly towards the carriage. Her voice sounded strangely unfamiliar…”He assaulted that poor woman, tried to rob her!”
“Stop!” I turned to Betterdesigned, “What are you doing? He’s your brother! How could you–”
“Brother or not, I have a duty to this Kingdom, as we all do, to keep the peace in our streets!” she cut me off, turning back to the Oreo Queen. “You know the penalty for the attempted destruction of that peace…”
“I do…” the Queen whispered at first, then straightened herself and said again, louder, “I do. Roadlesstaken, you are herewith banished from the Oreo Kingdom!” Cheers rang throughout the crowd as two of the Queen’s guards seized both of his arms. Earth was his destination, and there was nothing I could do about it.
As he was being dragged off, I noticed the three of them, I-Create, Betterdesigned and Stephened sneak off. Something wasn’t right and I knew it. Roadlesstaken had arrived moments before that woman was assaulted…he hadn’t even been anywhere near her. He had been framed, and by who? The three whose filthy fingers directed all attention onto him, who had pushed for his banishment. His own sister, his flesh and blood made no sign that she was even remotely interested in seeing him off. And I could clearly see her laughing!
“You know Alex is innocent!” I screamed, furious, as I approached them.
“Who?” I-Create asked, puzzled. Betterdesigned elbowed him sharply in the ribs. “Roadlesstaken…of course that’s who you’re talking about…” he choked, gasping for air.
My eyes, focused now on Betterdesigned, narrowed. I remembered when she had spoke up against Alex and how strange her voice had sounded. And her eyes, they were…blue. Now I had taken notice to I-Create’s voice. It didn’t sound right either…much too soft, feminine even.
“What’s…what’s going on?” I stammered, slowly walking backwards. Stephened took a step towards me for each step I took away from them. “You…you’re not—“ he suddenly made a lunge for me, missing my arm by an inch. I turned on my heel and ran as fast as I could towards the people surrounding the Oreo Queen’s Oreo Chariot. Stephened was fast, but not as fast as I was, because I reached it before he caught me, disappearing into the crowd.
“Wait…stop the tape. Rewind, what?” I just nodded. Nani had taken a seat next to me while I recounted the events of the riot. “I’ve always admired Betterdesigned’s beautiful hazel eyes…” she trailed off.
“As have I. But this woman had blue eyes…not hazel.”
“Who was she? And the man impersonating I-Create?”
“I haven’t the slightest idea, my Queen, but,” I continued, “I do know they weren’t who they were assumed to be. Before Alex took his journey here…I was able to speak with him.”
“You don’t understand! I didn’t do anything!” Alex screamed as the guards loaded him into the vessel designated as his mode of transportation to Earth. The Queen was nowhere to be found.
“Wait!” I screamed before they closed the doors on him, “Let me speak to him!”
“Quickly…” snapped one of the guards. I nodded, then accidentally smashed his foot with my own as I passed. Oops.
I poked my head into the door, “Alex!”
“Tell them I’m innocent! I was only there to look for my sister, I swear! I haven’t seen her in days!” he cried, grabbing my arm. I jerked away, startled.
“What do you mean? She was standing quite near you…“
“Who? No! I looked and she wasn’t there! There was someone who almost looked like her, but when I got closer I saw it wasn’t my sister. I was about to leav-“
“Said your farewells?” grumbled the ill-mannered guard with the newly broken toes as he shoved me out of the way to slam the doors.
“No! Help me!” came the muffled screams from inside the vehicle as it sped away, spraying dust into my eyes as it went.
“What does this mean? I don’t understand…” Nani slumped against the wall, staring ahead, utterly confused.
“I wasn’t sure myself. When I went to report this to you, I was informed you had left for Earth yourself. No one would tell me why…” I watched her, curiously. She just shook her head, obviously not approving of that particular subject change.
“You still haven’t told me where we are, though. “ Nani said, looking at me.
“Well…before I tell you that, there are a few other things,” I said, uncertainly. She nodded for me to continue. “In order to make my arrival unsuspicious, I came here under a false guise…” I said slowly, removing the hood that had been covering my head.
“Wh-what the…you…why do you have ears on top of your head?!” she shrieked, poking at one. “They’re furry! Are those…are those panda ears? What the hell, woman!”
“SHHHHH!!!” I covered her mouth, pulling back violently as I felt teeth dig in. “Ow! I’m disguised, remember?”
“As a BEAR? I thought you DIDN’T want to be suspicious! There are no bear people on this planet, you idiot!” she whispered through her teeth, whacking me on the back of the head.
“Well, it worked okay!? No one knows who I am! They just assumed I was visiting from some other, far-away planet!” I cried out, rubbing the back of my head.
“Are they real?” she tugged at one, making the sort of face you would see on a child who has tried spinach for the first time. She sighed with relief when I shook my head. “A panda bear for a servant…I couldn’t even imagine…”she chucked.
“Yeah…ha ha…” I mumbled to myself, “Anyway, like I was saying…I needed to disguise myself in order to not raise suspicion—shut up—and in order to keep my presence here a secret from our little Duchess.”
“Okay…but it’s not like anyone here knows what you look like.” I blinked, then face-palmed.
“Nevermind! Just listen to me! When I arrived here, I had no clue where to go. I couldn’t find the cart that Alex was in, and no one I spoke to was any help. One young lady directed me to The44thHour Café where I met a man named TheoDan—“
“Oh! No, no Amber he’s not a goo—“
“Pandiie_Bear! Shh! Call me Pandiie_Bear! That’s what they call me here!”
“Whatever, Bear! TheoDan is a very powerful man here.”
“I know, my Queen…that’s what I’m trying to tell you. After speaking to him for quite some time about my reason for being here—I just told him I was looking for a friend, nothing more—he seemed quite interested in me—“
“Gee, I wonder why,” she flicked my ear.
I ignored her and continued, “He brought me back to him home where I met a man by the name of Paul_Partisan. Apparently, after the incident with the hitman…or should I say hitwoman… Paul had cozied up in the lap of TheoDan, forming some sort of partnership. As for what exactly, I haven’t been lucky enough to obtain that information.
“All I know is that your precious MIB? You can kiss that good-bye.”
“Huh? Why?” Nani blinked, taken aback.
“TheoDan and Paul_Partisan, of course. Partisan has the brains, TheoDan has the money, and that money is lining TheBigShowAtUD’s pocket. A lot of it. I’m pretty sure it’s pure gold as a matter of fact, that pocket.”
“This is unbelievable…”
“Yes, and another thing. You’re here, in this cell where I’m supposed to be questioning you under direct orders of The BigShowAtUD. You don’t hold power here anymore—“
“Wait…does that mean…where are we? Right now?” Nani whispered, incredibly alarmed.
A knock on the door made us both jump. “Excuse me ladies…” came the smooth voice of Fataltactixx from the doorway. “Oreo Queen…you need to come with me.”
Fataltactixx needed a re-introduction, so here’s your tag!