I never would have thought I would be in this particular situation. I’ve heard of it happening to other people, or seen it happen first hand…but I’ve never experienced it myself. At least, not with family.
There’s always the groups in high school that you see it happening frequently. By “it” I mean when one girl uses another girl as a spy behind the backs of the others in order to gain something herself. She doesn’t care if her pawn ends up destroying her friendships with the other girls. As a matter of fact, she could care less!
Well, now I’m the pawn. I’m the spy for Side A of my family on Side B of my family to get some needed information. Getting it may not be the problem, only what could (and probably will…) happen afterward. My relation (as frail as it may be) with Side B of my family is probably going to be completely and utterly decimated. The only way I can see that not happening is if I can’t get this bit of information…or I can make up a believe-able excuse. <— Something I’m not good at. At all.
The sad part is…I don’t think Side A gives a damn that I’m putting my relationship at risk. Not at all. Granted, they have their personal and completely justified reasons. They want nothing to do with Side B, they don’t want a relationship with Side B and they’ve done very well in cutting me off from Side B for a good chunk of my life.
I, on the other hand…care. A lot, as a matter of fact. Regardless of all that happened and all that could very well happen, it’s still another side of my family that I never got to know. The only reason I’m in this situation is because I found them on Facebook and finally got to have some fairly fluid contact. Side A knows this, that’s where I come in as Amber: Super Spy– a job I’d gladly give up if another alternative came along. There is no other alternative at this point, so I’m shit out of luck.
Just another piece of straw to add to the camel’s back. Keep it coming.