Forgive or Forget?

Published April 25, 2010 by ABadKitten

Everyone gets into fights. Everyone gets into spats. Everyone turns into a troll once in a while… whether you’re smashing your angry fingers down on your keyboard, cursing up a storm in your head, or screaming at your cat like it has any idea what that loud noise coming out of your mouth really means. It happens because we’re human, we have feelings, and we need to get the steam out one way or another. No, you really should… no one wants to talk to an Angry Arnold all the time.

Realistically though, do you forgive and forget? Both at once? Or maybe you choose to forgive but not forget as opposed to forget and not forgive. Maybe you don’t do either in reality, but forever hold a grudge. To really be able to make the choice, I suppose you’d really have to understand the meaning of either word.

So, let’s ask for some help, shall we?


[fer-giv] Show IPA verb,-gave, -giv·en, -giv·ing.

–verb (used with object)

1. to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
2. to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
3. to grant pardon to (a person).
4. to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies.
5. to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.


[fer-get] Show IPA verb,-got or (Archaic) -gat; -got·ten or -got; -get·ting.

–verb (used with object)

1. to cease or fail to remember; be unable to recall: to forget someone’s name.
2. to omit or neglect unintentionally: I forgot to shut the window before leaving.
3. to leave behind unintentionally; neglect to take: to forget one’s keys.
4. to omit mentioning; leave unnoticed.
5. to fail to think of; take no note of.
6. to neglect willfully; disregard or slight.

–verb (used without object)

7. to cease or omit to think of something.

8. forget oneself, to say or do something improper or unbefitting one’s rank, position, or character.

Thinking back to a few fights I’ve had with whoever, I can’t really say I’ve forgotten. I obviously remember them, so scratch that theory. The only ones I may have forgotten could be the seriously pointless fights over who gets the last soda in the fridge…or it could be because I have a crappy memory. *shrug*

I would like to say I’m a forgiving person. I’m sure most people would like to say that they don’t hold a grudge forever. Normally, I don’t. But there are a few certain things that still grate me to the core that have happened in the past. Hello grudge. Some of these things, if forgiven, could have caused me even more pain and torment in the future. Some grudges are in place because people have used me as a doormat, and I let them. Doormat Grudge helps to remind me never to let  anyone do that again and if they try, unleash holy hell.

Is it really better to forgive and forget? I suppose that depends on the actual problem and the person you had it with. Through experience, I honestly don’t think “Just forgive and forget” is always the best policy. Sometimes tiny grudges can prove to be useful for your well-being.

On the other hand, grudges held because some person over the internet insulted you in a blog won’t prove to be useful anywhere. Let the grudge out of the cage.


8 comments on “Forgive or Forget?

  • If you can’t forget something eventually, how do you honestly forgive for it? If it’s always there it’s still got something to it to you. That’s what I think anyway. Not forgiving something doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a grudge. It just means if it’s not a grudge, you’ve learned to live without forgiving it.Meh, maybe I’m just thinking too far into it and confusing myself.

  • 6. to neglect willfully; disregard or slight.7. to cease or omit to think of something. —Idiom8. forget oneself, to say or do something improper or unbefitting one’s rank, position, or character.think this is about forgetting n i guess everyone at some point in life deal with issues that need to this type of reactioni personally think forgiveness means nothing at all without forgetting though its hard to forgetGod Himself chooses to forget our iniquity n things that separate us from Him just for the beauty of the relationship, of course He can do so because He is God after all.We are not but somehow He made us of the same stuff as Him, so somehow we are called to forgive and forget “for the beauty of life” thats about how things should bebut i do find it hard to forget specially when things really mean muchi usually forget easily for common things but when it involve relationships am quite hard to forgetguess as long as the hurt or damage caused is not forgotten forgiveness has not really taken guess true forgiveness would cause us to forget what ever happened to the point of taking the risk to do the same mistakes and be deceived by these same things again sorry for being so long on the matterkind of my first comment

  • This is an extremely complex subject. Sometimes I forgive and forget. Internet insults are so trivial, there’s nothing to forgive. Ah, but a broken heart, yes, you can forgive but you’ll never forget. And when someone that I care for deeply gets hurt, I can’t forgive or forget.

  • @still2be – That’s ok. I like long comments. :]@Crushpuppy – It is indeed. I guess it also depends on your own personal experiences in which you’ve found yourself asking the question of whether or not you can forgive and forget. Plus, I think it depends on you as a person also. Me, I don’t normally hold grudges so I guess I’m overly forgiving…though I’ve known people who will hold the smallest thing over your head for the rest of your life. :[

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