30 year-old 20 year-old in a 14 year-old’s body

Published March 6, 2010 by ABadKitten

I’m pretty short for my age at almost-but-not-quite 5″2′ at age 20. My father isn’t too much taller than me and my mother was around 4″9. My grandmother was shorter than my father. I have short genes! Too bad my grandfather isn’t my biological grandfather…he’s like 6″6.

I’ve been told throughout my years that I’m old for my age, though I don’t look it at all. I’m old for my age but I look young for my age– a seriously messed up perception of my being, I think! Unless I’m around my friends or people I know very well, I tend to act in a serious manner I guess. Strangers I’ve met and conversed with were often astonished when they found out my age, saying they thought I was 3 or 4 years older, even though my height suggested otherwise.

My dad was never really the super strict parent when it came to grades as long as I got a B or higher. If it wasn’t an A, he told me I could do better and to keep trying my hardest, but never did he punish me or yell unless it was a C or below. The rest of my family has always expected a hell of a lot more from me. They’re over-achievers and they’re good at it. Very, very good at it. That’s why the majority of my family is so wealthy or just plain seriously well-off.

Around them, I had to act mature, never childish. I was a proper young lady with perfect table manners and knew when to be quiet. When I acted out, I got the “look” from most of the people at the table while my father blushed and scolded me into embarrassment. He was more embarrassed than I ever was, so I understood.

Aside from how my family taught me to be, I’m really not sure why I am the way I am. I’ve never gotten into drugs or smoked cigarettes because I thought it stupid, immature, and a nasty thing to do to your body. It also seemed like people who did drugs were just ill-informed kids who felt it was cool to do it because it was illegal. Same thing goes for smoking, I suppose. I used to drink a lot because I had a lot of older friends and that’s what happened at parties. Otherwise, I only have a shot of blackberry whiskey when I have cramps to sooth the pain.

I don’t act like a 16 year old in a 20 year old’s body like, it seems, most of the people in my age group still do. It’s easy to see, considering youtube, reality shows, facebook, and myspace are so easily accessible. I don’t see myself as “higher” than anyone in any way, shape, or form like a few people around my age seem to think for whatever reason. I treat people with respect until they prove they deserve otherwise, I listen to their opinions until it’s my turn, I’m polite to strangers and those who are older than me as well as those who are younger than me… it doesn’t really seem like I’m doing anything that shouldn’t be programmed into every person, old and young, yet every person I meet thinks I’m older than I really am.

I’m a 30 year old 20 year old in a 14 year old’s body. A fact that I’ll have to live with. I always liked the term “fun-sized” anyway. Although, I don’t think video games and coloring fall under the “adult” category.

I often wish I was younger again, though. Like, beginning high school again so I could relive my experiences and do things I should have done to make my “now” the way I want it to be.

But that’s a whole different blog.

Are you old for your age?

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15 comments on “30 year-old 20 year-old in a 14 year-old’s body

  • I’ve always been thought of as older than I am. When companies would call my house, they would think I was the parent and I was 14 or so at the time. When I went to China, everyone thought I was in my 20s when I was only 15. I don’t know why. At that time I didn’t smoke or drink. Now I don’t drink as much because, well there is really no point. I don’t get drunk. I’ve only smoked 7 times my entire life. And those 7 times happened between new years and yesterday.

  • This is amazingly written and well expressed. I really like the person you are and can kinda relate. I’m older. Over 30 if you can believe that. Not many do. But I like to have fun. Crack jokes. Chill. That’s who I am. At the same time, i treat people the way I’d want to be treated. With respect. I don’t hold grudges. I miss being that age. You say you wish you could go back. I’d love to. Honestly, forget what people say. It’s most important how you feel. I still feel young at heart and I’ll bet you’re the same way. 

  • I was for a long time until I began making fun of my life and enjoying what little time I have left on this earth. I am childish and fun at times and then I go back to mommy mode when it’s necessary.

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